Thursday, October 29, 2009

Who's on your List?

We watched a movie last night, Chaos Theory, that sadly wasn't that great, but it did reinforce my decision to add Ryan Reynolds to my List.

You all know "the List" right? The list of "5 Famous People Who if You Run into Them at Target or Starbucks or the Grocery Store You are Totally Allowed to Sleep with Them and It Doesn't Count List." Everyone has that list right? I actually have my list saved in my phone, because it seems I'm incapable of remembering who is actually on my list. I would hate for an opportunity to slip through my fingers because I couldn't remember who is on my list. I mean, what a downer if I came home and told John, "Guess who I saw at Giant today... Ryan Reynolds!" and John would say, "You "did" him right?" (Because John is romantic like that) and I'd say, "No - I wouldn't do that" and he say "but he's on your list" and I'd be all "What! He is? Shit... and he totally wanted me and I forgot he was on my list." Missed opportunity. So.... now I have my list saved on my phone.

Anyway, back to Ryan Reynolds... I had begun toying with adding him after I saw Wolverine. He was only in that movie for like 10 minutes, but they were the best 10 minutes. Then I saw The Proposal and I decided that he is totally "List Worthy."

So, here's my list:
1. Ryan Reynolds
2. Daniel Craig - the new James Bond
3. Mark Wahlberg - (you know, Markie Mark, underwear model, Planet of the Apes - google him you'll understand then)
4. Mike Rowe - from Dirty Jobs - on Discovery Channel
5. Johnny Depp - not dirty smelly Johnny Depp - more when he's clean and artsy.

Who's on your list??? Leave a comment with your list of 5 - I'd love to know. Maybe I've missed someone!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I am medicated!

I am medicated! Now I'm just waiting for the fog to lift and the ability to construct a complete sentence to return. Shouldn't be long now... I hope.....

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Good Friends Rule!

We had a wonderful GNO (Girls Night Out) last night. Despite the waiter who spent most of the evening sitting on a bench with his cellphone or watching the Monday Night Football Game. Seriously, S. had to go outside to find him to ask for water, our food had been delivered and we still didn't have silverware and S. never got the coffee she ordered! Despite that we had a great time. Good Food, Margarita's and lots of laughter. It's the good friends that keep the mean people away and I'm so thankful for all the ladies that help me recharge my batteries, stay sane and smile indulgently when I'm so ditzy I really shouldn't be allowed out of the house.

I now understand why Schizonphrenic's have a hard time staying on their medicine. I've been taking Thyroid medicine for about 3-4 months now and my prescription ran out. Well, since we Mom's do everything for everyone else and never for ourselves, I neglected to get it refilled. I mean "I've been feeling fine. Pshaw.. that medicine doesn't really do anything for me. I'll get it refilled...eventually....I'm busy right now... blah...blah...blah..." Well... apparently "that medicine" does do something.... For the last week, I've been so tired I can hardly function...I feel like I'm walking in fog and I can barely string a coherent sentence together...not to mention that I keep turning the heater up to sub-Saharan setting and whining that I can't keep warm. And biggest faux paus of all - despite at least one email reminder, I forgot T.'s birthday tiara and jewels at dinner last night. SORRY T!!!

As parents, we'd never let our kids prescriptions run out... So, why it's okay for us to do it to ourselves I don't know. Probably the same reason it's okay for us to eat the crusts off the grilled cheese sandwiches and call it lunch, take the free phone when the kids gets the fancy pants, whoop-de-do phone or buy a brand new beautiful, soft blanket to snuggle under on the sofa only to discover it hidden under the sheets on "someone's" bed. Hmmmm....

I'm off today to pick up the prescription and I'm tempted to take a handful as soon as I get them. Make the fog go away!!!

Thanks to all my friends who have put up with my ditziness... I promise I'll keep medicating... Better living through Chemistry!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Mean People Suck!

Mean People Suck! I don't know why it's so upsetting to me when people are mean, after 42 years I should be use to it, but I'm not. I think maybe it's because I tend to bend over backwards to try and make eveyone happy and everyone else's life easier and better. Often to the deteriment of my own. I'm much more likely to cancel, rearrange or change my plans or my families plans to accomodate someone else. You need a volunteer for something, I am compelled to volunteer. No one else will do it... Okay I will. A sign up sheet goes around... I sign my name. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? For a long time, whenever I went to a meeting I had to carry a folder with a note that John wrote taped to it. The note said... "Julie says NO." I'm not complaining (my family may be, but I'm not) that's just the way I am. I'm always worried about everyone else's feelings, needs and plans.

I try not to be mean ever; I try to be tolerant and non-judgemental. Do I gossip occasionally - of course. Have I made some snide comments in confidence to my friends - Guilty! But, I've never been outright mean, right to someone's face (except that one episode in 5th grade - sorry Tammy!). I tend to always try and come up with the positive perspective - much to my husband's irritation. He often says, Can't you ever agree with me?"

So, last night when someone was mean to me, right to my face - I was flabbergasted! Especially since I thought I was trying to be helpful and looking out for the best interests of a certian group, trying to do a good thing. But apparently I'm a money-grubbing, know it all; trying to steal away the rights and freedoms of groups everywhere. Whatever... I thought I was trying to help.

I'm trying to look at this like an isolated incident and move on, but frankly my feelings are hurt and it sticks in my craw, and...Mean People Suck!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

How Happy Am I?

Today was day 3 of Woodbridge High School's Homecoming Spirit Week. Today was Character day. I've been working up at my Spiritwear Store all week. I have had the best seat in the house for "the show." And sometimes it's definitely a "show!" Monday was Decades Day.
Lots of tie-dye, lots of tights, headbands and leg warmers, a few flappers and even some cavemen.

Tuesday was Wacky Tacky Day. Again, lots of different shoes, different socks, shorts on top of pants. Tutus (I really want a tutu...but I digress), crazy hair and a fair amount of fishnet, but not as bad as I expected and I was able to escape with my eyes and sensibilities in tact.

Today was Character Day. I breathed a sigh of relief, I'd made it through Tacky day and somehow in my own little head I had interpreted Character Day to mean Literary Character Day... My Bad! What I seem to have misunderstood was that it appears to have been "Characters from a Girls Gone Wild" video or the ever popular "Characters from my favorite Penthouse letters" Day. What . The . F . David . Blaine! Are these girls crazy or more importantly are their parents lunatics!!!???? And what happened to the school dress code or more importantly what happened to covering your ass before you leave the house?

So how happy was I that my 16 year-old daughter B. and her BFF M. told me they were going as Harry Potter. Not the Playboy version, and not "naughty Harry", but the real literary Harry Potter!
How cute are they! Way cuter than any "Harry Gone Wild." How happy am I? Sooooooo Happy!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Are you ready for some football???

So it's Sunday and that means football in our house. We love football. I can remember when I was little sitting down on Sunday morning and carefully crafting some sort of football graft thing and then we'd all make our winning picks, put a quarter or 2 in the pot and then cheer our teams on. Ian always got to borrow the quarters...whatever, then at the end of the day the winners would collect their quarters. It's one of the things I'm really thankful for... that my parents were patient enough to explain and instill a love for football in us. It's helped me out with numerous boyfriends and I just love watching it.

Anyway, For the second year in a row we are doing a small Fantasy Football Leaque in our cul-de-sac, no money just ultimate bragging rights! I am the only girl in the league this year, but I'm holding my own. They decided to do a LIVE draft this year, where you all sit around an shout out the players you want, hoping to snatch just the right player right out from under someone's nose. (Ray Rice... take that James!) But, I did my research (really I just compiled the "experts" research) and I shouted out with the best of them. AND.....

I am NUMBER ONE in the leagues right now. Yes, you read that right... Julie's Husbandbeaters is #1!!! I'm am beating husbands every chance I get!!! I am 4-1!!! Now if you look at the standings I guess "technically" I'm tied with Reynolds Wrap, but my name is above his in the league standings so I my book that means I'M THE WINNER right now!!!

I think this irritates some of the husbands just a little bit considering the fact that while I did read what the experts said... I also followed my own "theories." For instance... I knew I had to have Kurt Warner as my quarterback because frankly he has the best HAIR in the NFL. Helmet on or helmet off he looks great. Also, Mark Sanchez is my backup... he's high on the Hyzy cute scale as well. Then it was important that since I was playing with a bunch of "animals" (men)... I tried to draft only players who's mascots were animals. It takes animals to beat animals... Also if their uniforms or helmets were ugly (ie. Miami) I couldn't in all good conscience draft them...who wants to watch someone in an ugly uniform all weekend. They (the husbands) laughed, they might even have taunted a little, they are all crying like little girls as each weekend I open a big can of Whoop Ass on them!!!

The only fly in my perfect ointment is that I can't for the life of me beat Vern. He's the only husband I haven't beaten, I couldn't beat him last year either. He ended up being the League Champion last year. But this year he's 1-4!!!!! Guess who is his ONLY win??? ME!!! Ar-r-r-r-g-g-h-h I gotta beat that guy. V - take notice I'm going to get you if I have to come over and "cap" your quarterback!!!

Saturday, October 17, 2009


Is there anything you like enough to get up at 430am to do it???
This thought crossed my mind briefly this morning when my husband's alarm went off and he bounded out of bed and ran for his hunting clothes. He is hunting today... in the the 430am - that is 430 IN THE MORNING! It's been raining for the last 3 days, temps haven't gotten above 50 - but is there a chance they'd call off the expedition... Nope!
I honestly don't think there is anything I like enough to get up at 430am for:

Friends - probably not
TV - nope
Exercise - are you fricking kidding
Chocolate - no way - wait a minute, maybe that's the new answer to America's obesity problem... You are only allowed to eat "bad" food - chocolate, candy, ice cream, fried salty whatever at 430am. I know that would cut down on my intake.
My kids - I don't think so... probably just meet them where ever a little bit later

About the only thing I like doing at 430am is rolling back over in my warm, comfy, flannel sheets and knowing I don't have to get up to do anything!
While I am thrilled that my husband has something he loves enough to do at 430am, but I'm probably more thrilled that I don't!!! :o)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Where have all the pencils gone?

Good Lord above what is my son doing with his pencils at Middle School? We've been in school approximately a month and a week, that's 26 school days. The child has gone through, at last count, 30 regular pencils, 3 mechanical pencils and a pack of colored pencils! Really???? That's 45 pencils in 26 days... Are you kidding me??? What is he doing with them? Does he think they are disposable pencils? One use only pencils?? Is he selling them?? Eating them?? What the hell is he doing with his pencils???
I told him this morning as I was scrounging under sofas, behind his bed, under the bookcases for colored pencils because.. "I have to have them for Science TODAY!" "Do not lend even ONE pencil to ANYONE today!" No more Random Acts of Kindness (more on this nightmare later)... tell them your mother won't let you share pencils anymore...Tell them you have H1N1... I don't care what you tell them, but KEEP ALL YOUR PENCILS!
So...I'm off to Target today to guess what... buy more pencils... Thank God I took that week long subbing job last month, who knew I'd need a job to keep my kid in pencils....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

To Blog or Not to Blog

For at least the last 3 years I have added "Start Blog" to my New Year's To Do list. I carry it around for about 3 months always starting my To Do list with "Start Blog" until eventually I scratch it off. I've had quite a few people tell me I should blog, but.... the excuses are many... I'm too busy, I'm really only funny in my Christmas Letters, does anyone really care about what I would write about etc... I also worry that my particular brand of humorous (or what I think is humorous) sarcasm would not translate well through a blog. Would people understand that most of the time I.AM.KIDDING or would I spend half my blog apologizing to the people I've offended or hurt. Oh the pressure. I just want everyone to be happy!

But yesterday, I ended up with a free 30 minutes in the morning. I'd done all the important stuff. I'd checked my email, I'd updated my FaceBook, I'd looked in on all the blogs I follow and I'd bellowed up the stairs for the kids to get up and get busy RIGHT NOW! Now what... I could.. unload the dishwasher, do the dishes that didn't make it into the dishwasher, pack a lunch, check a backpack.... ah... No. Instead Zack walked down the stairs caught me rechecking some blogs and said... "You should write a blog." Out of the mouths of babes - so right then and there I did it. See what happens when I have free time... bad things happen... and now here I am... The pressure... the pressure...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Am I Really Going to Do This???

I'm here. For now, for this minute... now I just need to think of something to blog about. Stay tuned.