Friday, May 27, 2011


My dear friend's mother died today.  I can't tell you how sad this makes me. It was not unexpected, but it was sudden.  I feel helpless and heartbroken and at a loss as to what to do to help my friend through this.  I just keep imagining what I would be doing or what I would be feeling, but that just leads to sadness and I have to stop myself.  Is there anything that helps in a situation like this?

I do like this stage of my life.  Kids are getting older and more self-sufficient.  Money and our finances are not as critical as they were in the beginning of our life. And I'm not as consumed by other's opinions as I use to be. But getting older in turn means that my loved ones are getting older... I don't like it when I realize that this stage of life is also the stage when these sorts of events are going to be more and more common.  Parents and loved ones get older and frailer and things happen. I don't like that.

Every time I walk out my door and look over at her house my heart breaks, thinking about what she's going through.  I think it's struck me particularly hard because my mom has been visiting this week.  When you grow up in and live the military life - you get use to your family being far away. Visits happen yearly if you are lucky.  You always miss them, but you learn to make your life locally and survive on phone calls and email.  It's sort of like a scab, you know you have a wound but it's grown over and just sort of a shadow in your mind.  The missing is always there, but it's not immediately painful and sad.  Then something happens, usually a visit, and it makes you remember how much you love them and how much you miss them and how sad you are to be apart so much. The missing and sadness  becomes sharp.  Or something even more tragic happens and you really do realize that it's all so fleeting.  That you need to spend each day being thankful for your family and friends, close or far, and never let them doubt your feelings.  It seems so cliche, but cliches are true for a reason.  Hold your family and friends close and make sure that when you go to bed tonight - they all know how important they are to you.

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